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The Tourist: A Review

I finally succumbed and checked out what was meant to be one of the worst Johnny Depp movies of all time.

I wasn’t totally thrilled when I heard the news Depp and Jolie were going to be working together. They’re both pretty amazing in the sorts of films they normally do together and I just wasn’t quite sure their special own brands of magic would work that well together.

Also I remember there being sum hoo-ha over a shower scene between the two of them (which was cut from the TV version I saw, if it ever made it into the cinema release) and Mrs Depp not liking the combination much either, probably due to the way Jolie picked up her last two partners, although she does seem pretty settled with her current fella so that may have just been an unfortunate coincidence.

But back to the film. The plot was so-so. Fairly standard action/spy plot with no way near enough explosions. Jolie did pretty much no action sequences at all and I think that’s some of the issue. Her action’s usually fantastic. The whole time in this she was pretty much aloof and uninvolved. I know to some degree the character is meant to be this way but I just didn’t buy it.

In terms of Depp I could also see what he was trying to do. He mostly came across as this gorgeously sweet, bumbling math teacher who was out of his league and paunfully aware of it. And sometimes this was brilliant. He seemed shocked in all the right places and uncomfortable in all the right places, but he also seemed uncomfortable in all the wrong places. It was like he was on his guard all the time and the infatuation between him and Jolie just never came through when it was meant to. Even in the few  times they kissed.

I actually found myself a little sad at the end of this film. I really wanted to love it. I even got quite excited when Paul Bettany appeared and I could enjoy the gorgeous Jarvis voice (Iron Man’s software), and then I got excited again when Rufus Sewell appeared, but it just didn’t quite have me convinced enough to love it. I was entertained well enough for the evening but not swept away. Oh, and I totally saw that ending coming!